Look, no pitchurs this time, just wurdz....

Recently I’ve been having some doubts about dA... I’ve paid my sub’ so I suppose I will weather out the little storm, but I feel I want to distance myself from what seems to be a rather crazy, out of control situation. I simply can’t cope with the many watchers, who then automatically become my friends without having ever spoken to me, nor do I have enough time to view every deviation, leave a thoughtful comment or read every blog, or reply meaningfully to every comment made... but all this and more is served before me on a daily basis. I want my friends to be other artists who maybe ask for a little feedback, want some encouragement or have found enlightenment from time to time - a place to share ideas, step back from the making of the work, review our progress, celebrate the little successes that make it all worthwhile. I want my favourites to be just that; a small handful of works I like and want to show my appreciation of and respect for (and for that alone, dA has been good). I would like a deviant's gallery to be a clearer overview of their inspiration and motivation, a considered, cohesive showcase or portfolio which could include experimental works, sketchbooks or writings, but not have to see every last snap, scribble or daub which only weakens the more interesting, stronger works by comparison. It's all about developing some self-judgement, applying some critical analysis, making choices, which is crucial to any form of art. There is other stuff on here that is masquerading as art, all for the heavy footfall of visitors it provides, but nobody seems to be doing anything to moderate or police it (you know what I'm talking about).

My personal view of dA has in part been influenced by some of the stuff I’ve seen and read, which, with the utmost respect to the dA community I will delicately and variously call questionable degrees of artistic judgement, artistic licence and artistic differences. There are some very talented, intelligent, passionate and forthright artists on here, some of which I have had to pleasure to meet as it were, and they can serve as an inspiration to others, and then there are those that say outwardly that they need a little more encouragement, to build their confidence for they are just experimenting, starting out in art. There are a few less that are misinformed, closed in their thinking, intent on projecting their views onto others - it’s very sad for they look unintentionally ignorant and stupid, and just who is prepared to point this out in a diplomatic, calm manner...? I’ve seen some examples of the many levels of artistic accomplishment, of all ages and cultures, utilising a range of materials and formats from traditional to digital, and that is the one big thing that is refreshing and appeals about dA - we can ALL learn from this experience, whether it is eye-opening, awe-inspiring stuff, when it lifts your heart to read others so full of a personal sense of achievement for small steps made, or when it questions our perceptions about what constitutes art. I readily accept that dA plays a notable part in the exposure of unknown art and artists to a global community, but I am not entirely convinced that such a worthy mission can maintain such a big responsibility; dA is serving a global community, but so does McDonalds... and each to their own it will always be...

In truth, I am not quite sure why I am here; I sort of got invited - like you do. As in a big house party, they said come along, just come as you are, it’ll be fun, only to find that it’s some grotesque/burlesque fancy dress theme! There’s an argument going on in the kitchen between a vamp and Freddie Kruger, someone's found a secret stash of beer in the washing machine and isn't telling anyone, the bathroom is occupied(!), the neighbours are complaining, someone’s having a hissy fit, another’s in tears about it, someone’s passed out on the lawn, a gang have just gatecrashed and it's gone all hardcore techno, while another is leaving with a nice houseplant under his arm, unaware that someone else recently pissed in it. It’s all building up to look quite messy in the morning... but oh, the stories we’ll have to tell in years to come...

I did not join dA with any intention to validate myself as an artist, or to critique art, as that happens enough in the real world of shows and galleries. I have to make a proportion of my living from my art and that means working within my geographical networks first and foremost, building my clientele, establishing how my work relates to my current environment, what it is I want to say about who I am and how I see things, how I can reach a compromise between personal motivations and the reality of making a living... it has been and probably always will be a struggle... life as an artist is tough, made more complicated by the possibilities and restrictions... I do what I can do, and I say what I need to say, always with truth and with a desire to improve, to be more coherent... but I can never assume anybody will want to understand me, the difficulties I've faced or the things I've achieved, why should they?... As I once said in my other blog, I would rather communicate with the few but more deeply... the massiveness of dA scares me and it is at odds with my own little philosophy...

Lastly, I do want to say that I have been recommending dA to all my students (to steer them away from facebook and myspace mainly!) as it has the potential to be a good learning resource to nurture their own creativity - they can experience, share and interact with a multitude of contemporary art and design from across the globe; the real and the virtual, the good, the bad and the ugly ... For now though, I’m more than ready to take a quiet seat at the back, pare down my own gallery on dA, downsize my favourites... I really need to focus on developing my own website as it is this that will play a fundamental role when I am featured in a small magazine article or when I participate in an exhibition. For those with whom I have already made contact, it has been good, and you can always contact me at my own site if you feel that any further communication would be beneficial...

Sorry, that was a long journal... thank you for reading...